I WAS ALWAYS AFRAID OF BEING WHO I WANTED TO BE;
(2018; writing: chetjulius; graphic design: julia berg)
is a continuation of the project voorbij de angst (2016). It is a graphic approach to the message of voorbij de angst, and is a part of my graduation project Bodies Making Meaning.
ON VOORBIJ DE ANGST
In the project, I approached certain binary gender codes that evoked an immense feeling of fear, for example wearing feminine-coded garments, kissing my boyfriend in public, moving in a non-masculine manner, etc. The project consisted out of several performance-based interventions, in which I wore and let others wear several forms of the skirt, an iconic garment with strong feminine connotations. Furthermore I journaled my experiences during the project in self-portrait videos and interviewed six others on their experiences within a binary world. In voorbij de angst, fashion served as a method of ‘wearing my identity’. In hindsight, I employed fashion in embodying my identity. In this case, the skirt provided me with a tool to question my own notions regarding gender and construct my identity outside of the gender binary. Fashion also helped me connect to others who felt similarly restricted by binary gender codes.