I have an unhealthy relationship with the men’s gaze towards my female body. I repeatedly felt sexualised and objectified by other men. Not only did this root a confusing relationship with men in general, I also felt very estranged to my own body for a long period of time. How come I often feel like I’m being undressed by dozens of eyes when I want to get a drink at the pool side? How come I get yelled at when walking down the street, and yelled at even louder when I don’t give a response? Men look at me as if they have every right to have imaginary sex with me, while touching themselves in public. Don't bother say anything about it, people say. It won’t make a difference anyways.
(Audio in video above from 10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1XGPvbWn0A>)
(Audio in video above from 10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1XGPvbWn0A>)
The thing is: I DO want to say something about it. I want to confront the male gaze and the toxic relationship it has with the female body. And the toxic relationship many women have with themselves because of it. I want to show how reality and fantasy are disordered while women are supposed to fit into this imaginary box. Consciously step into this role of voyeur, and experience how intense the gaze can get. How you feel estranged to your own body as it does not feel like your own anymore, nothing left but curves and shapes that everyone is inspecting. How you feel the projection of porn and sex pointed at you at all times, wondering what you did wrong to get to this point of objectification and emotionless contact. Did you do something wrong though? Did you not wear enough clothing? Did you challenge others by moving your hips too much? Or is it just your fault for being female?

